


Jamais Vu

by tangerinecoffee



Category: Winner (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Colors, Fluff, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-18
Updated: 2017-07-10
Packaged: 2018-09-18 08:45:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9377264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tangerinecoffee/pseuds/tangerinecoffee
Summary: Soulmate lets you see color AU. Minho's sure it wasn't the first time he'd met Taehyun.





	1. Zero

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cross-posted. From my AFF account http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/1189855/  
> :D

 

 

No one can really explain it.

But everyone in this world was born with the same black and white façade the world is masking itself with.

But it’s also filled with stories of most people who found their soulmates – stories of bright colors of blue and pink and green and yellow and everything else in between.

Far from black and white.

It does not only open up your vision and perception.

It creates depth, it makes you feel warmth and coldness and happiness and everything else – it makes you give it a very different meaning.

It lets you create your own world.

So when Song Minho’s eyes landed on a stranger walking past the coffee shop window where he always drinks his coffee at, he can’t believe he saw gold for the first time.

 

**Jamais Vu**

**(Never seen)**

_“Nothing they experience seems to have anything to do with the past.”*_

 

**_0:_ **

 

 

The next morning, unlike any other mornings, Minho stepped inside the same coffee shop with a hopeful intake of breath. He ordered the same black coffee that somehow looks lighter – that’s when the lady by the counter told him it’s the color brown, and that he had been ordering black coffee with two sachets of creamer ever since. She was a kind lady in her forties, expert at brewing coffees and easy to converse with. She had been managing the little coffee shop with her husband and son, and Minho can very well remember the way this lady’s husband looked at her with gentle adoration that he had hoped one day, he’ll be able to look at someone like that too and finally see the lightest shade of red the old couple was always talking about.

“It’s called ‘pink’, dear.” The lady corrected him when he asked again, and Minho smiled back, half-bowed and went over to his usual spot.

On top of the little table was the daily newspaper he’d taken a liking in these past few years, but now, instead of opening it right away to go with his coffee, Minho positioned himself so he was facing the glass pane, waiting for that same stranger who was wearing that gold wristband.

How hard he wished his eyes were not just playing tricks on him.

 

He was on his second cup of brown coffee when he saw that same stranger striding, his brows in a low sloop and still wearing that same gold wristband.

Except now Minho could actually see the flush on the stranger’s cheeks and the rose on his lips.

“Ajumma!” He was suddenly standing, index finger pointing on the now clear sidewalk beside the shop where the stranger was.

The old lady walked up to him, holding a little notebook of sorts in her frail hands and she followed Minho’s frustrated gaze upon the glass. “You saw your soulmate?” She asked, voice gentle.

Minho finally returned his hand on the coffee table, sighing. “I did. I hope I did. I think I saw a new color – I think it’s called ‘red’.”

She smiled up at him and handed him the notebook, Minho accepted it with a confused expression and scanned it. “What is this Ajumma?”

“A color chart. I compiled it after I first saw my husband.”

There were at least ten pages of the little booklet, but all of those were still different shades of black and white, until Minho noticed a glint in one of the notebook’s corner.

“Is this…” His eyes went down to read the little words spelled “ _Gold_.” And he can’t help but grin. “It’s gold! Where is red?” He giddily asked and the old lady helped him flip through a few more pages before pointing on a bright shade of the color.

“ _Red_ ,” The word rolled out of his tongue smoothly. “It’s pretty.”

And he went about thinking how pretty the color red is as it kissed the stranger’s cheeks and graced his lips.

He was actually close to running wasn’t he?

Minho smiled. He wants to see the stranger again.

So he planned to wait for him again the next day.

 

Minho took his time to walk from his apartment to the usual coffee shop. Noticing everything that is red or gold – like the bricks on a particular bakeshop or the roses in hanging pots by that antique store. Even the street signs made him stare in awe.

When he entered the shop, the woman by the counter was gone and in her place was her husband. The old man smiled when Minho greeted him a good morning and in return gave him an apple.

A red apple.

Minho received it with delight and he heard the man chuckling. “She wanted me to give it to you.”

The younger thanked him and held the apple like it’s one of the most important treasures in the world. “Ahjusshi, where is ahjumma?”

The man is now preparing Minho’s usual drink when he answered: “Resting, she’s not feeling well this morning.”

Minho’s excited expression was washed away with worry when he heard this. “Please tell ahjumma to take better care of herself.”

The man presented the coffee to Minho and gave him the usual creamer. “I will.”  

 

Minho placed the apple in the center of his small table, admiring how the light from the early morning rays made the fruit glimmer from all directions as he slowly flicked through the pages of the small notebook, wondering, just how all these little circles and squares differs from each other.

Before he finished his first cup of coffee, Minho heard the shop’s chime and his head turned to look at the front door. Normally he had the shop all to himself until seven in the morning and he enjoys the solitude.

But now, as he watched the same stranger he’d been hoping to see walked in with one of the most beautiful smiles he’d ever seen, letting him see blue for the first time –

He thought about how he’s willing to exchange that solitude with this stranger’s company.

Now and maybe until forever.

 

 

 

 

_*definition from "Deja Vu in Spiritual and Scientific Views"_


	2. One

 

 

 

"I thought I was delusional.”

Minho can’t help but smile, “Why?”

“I was walking to the station from work the other day and I looked up at the sky, expecting grey and black and white.” The stranger was smiling at the memory too, his fingertips hovering over the rim of the cup in front of him. “Imagine my wonder when I saw a streak of something else – that color being orange.” He chuckled, making Minho’s ears perk up at the pretty sound, “It was the same color on the egg I ate this breakfast too. I never believed the others when they said the sun looks like raw egg yolk.”

“How did you know it was orange?”

“My roommate told me, he found his soulmate two years ago.” And this was at this point where the stranger finally looked up to meet Minho’s eyes. “I’m a bit jealous before that he already found his so I’m really glad I found mine. It was worth the wait.”

He never thought he’ll adore brown just as much as he does now, and in his boggled mind Minho thought he saw the most beautiful shade of brown filling the stranger’s eyes. “Yeah, it really was.”

They were both smiling – playful and innocent at the same time, hiding under a blanket of what ifs and maybes and let’s sees. “I’m Nam Taehyun.”

_Nam Taehyun._

_Song Minho’s soulmate is Nam Taehyun._

“Song Minho,” he didn’t know his hand was already reaching to tuck some stray strands of Nam Taehyun’s hair behind his ears, “And you’re stuck with me.”

 

**Jamais Vu**

**(Never seen)**

_“Everyone you know is somehow a bit of a stranger, and everything is new – extremely confusing, and frustrating.”*_

 

**_1:_ **

 

 

Minho learned, when his eyes met the stranger’s and a slow smile blossomed on the other’s lips, that the other was looking for him too. He also learned that Nam Taehyun entered the café because he suddenly saw orange yesterday the exact moment he passed by the establishment. The only reason why Taehyun did not go back was because he wasn’t sure of what was happening, and instead opted to go home to ask his trusted roommate.

Taehyun left at around nine a.m. for his photoshoot, with a promise to meet Minho again the next day. Minho, with a wide grin plastered on his face, forgot about his own work and ran out of the coffee shop with an appalled wince and a hurried goodbye to the old man by the counter.

To his luck, their boss doesn’t seem to be in the office when he punched in for his attendance but he was still greeted by his co-worker who commented on his tardiness.

“Minho-yah you got to be more careful next time, you hear me?” The taller man told him half-heartedly as he swiveled his rolling chair closer to Minho’s cubicle.

“Yes hyung,” was what Minho answered before he pointed at the plant near his desk. “Wah! I never thought it was… colored!” he exclaimed, too late to notice the surprise in his co-worker’s face.

“You can see green!?”

 _So it’s’ green’._ Then Minho remembered, his cheeks burning. “I met my soulmate this morning…”

“Wow! Lucky! Now I can finally talk to you about all the colors I see!”

Minho slowly turned his body towards the other, “Wait, wait, wait, hyung… you already found your soulmate?”

The other nodded, somewhat bashful. “Yep! Almost two years ago! I just didn’t want to be insensitive so…”

 

*

Minho lay on his bed awake that night, neck bent towards his window so he could see some stars scattered through the night sky. Were the stars really white?

He reached for his phone on top of the bedside drawer. Minho smiled like an idiot as he typed Nam Taehyun’s name and forgot the fact that it’s already past midnight.

 

_To: Nam Taehyun_

**What color are the stars?**

 

Not a minute after, Minho heard his message tone and he can’t help but feel like a little high school girl receiving a text from her senior crush for the first time.

 

_From: Nam Taehyun_

**White? I think they are, but sometimes I could see a spark of yellow. Why are you still up?**

 

_Because I’m thinking of you._

Minho briefly considered the reply, just to delete it halfway, settling instead with:

 

_To: Nam Taehyun_

**Ah, I just can’t sleep. What about you?**

 

_From: Nam Taehyun_

**I was thinking of you.**

 

Minho felt his heart stop, and then it ran fast and did a summersault.

His fingers were shaking, but he still managed to reply as quickly as possible.

 

_To: Nam Taehyun_

**I wanted to tell you that first, haha.**

 

_From: Nam Taehyun_

**Glad I beat you to it. I’m free the whole day tomorrow btw.**

 

Minho’s heart skipped a beat and he sat up, raking his hair back in part frustration because it wasn’t his rest day tomorrow.

But maybe he can ask Seunghoon to cover for him…

 

_To: Nam Taehyun_

**Me too :)**

 

_From: Nam Taehyun_

**Really? Great, we should sleep now then. See you tomorrow.**

 

_To: Nam Taehyun_

**See you! :D**

 

But Minho didn’t sleep after that, because he had to call Senghoon several times before the other picked up with a disgruntled and exasperated: “What the hell Song Minho, it’s two in the morning.”

Minho apologized repeatedly before telling why he called.

Seunghoon’s voice was raw, hoarse even, “Okay. Just let me sleep.”

Minho thanked him and promised to treat him to lunch next time.

 

The second time Minho met Taehyun in the coffee shop, he ordered something different, but not really.

He was wearing a lavender sweatshirt paired with pale grey ripped pants as he waited for the café door to ring its bell. When it did, Minho almost stood up, only to be frozen in place as he saw Taehyun in a striped shirt and tight dark pants.

Taehyun saw him too, and waved at him shyly as he walked to where Minho was and took the seat across from him.

“Try cappuccino, it has this golden brown foam on top,” Taehyun said as he leaned forward like he wasn’t too fond of the small table separating them.

Minho noticed this, and as he ordered the drink he leaned forward as well, until their noses were mere inches apart.

It was somehow embarrassing, but none of them thought it was awkward.

“How was your photoshoot yesterday?”

“Better,” Taehyun has the most beautiful smile Minho had ever seen. He so wanted to tell that to the other but Minho was still afraid that he might come off creepy. “It’s better because I can now see the colors. Thank you.”

Minho shook his head, “No, _thank you._ ” They went about thanking each other back and forth until their drinks arrived and then they started talking about the sky and stars.

They left after they finished their drinks and decided to take a stroll, entranced by the colors that pass them by, swerving, in a spiral of beauty none of them thought ever existed.  
  


It was still patches of yellows, blues and greens. Sometimes, Minho would see other unfamiliar ones but he’ll just smile and look over Taehyun who was busy taking pictures with his camera.

At one point, Taehyun noticed him staring and apologized for his lack of attention. “Don’t worry about it,” Minho assured him, “I was admiring the view.”

Taehyun chuckled and held his camera down, “But you were looking at me?”

“I am, because you’re the most beautiful view.”

Minho basked in glee when he saw Taehyun trying to cover his reddening ears and hoisting his camera back up to cover his flushed cheeks, “You smooth talker.”

“Did it work?” Minho teased as he brushed the camera away from Taehyun’s face and was glad as the other let him.

“…Yeah.”

And Minho grinned, his fingers intertwining with Taehyun’s.

 

*

Taehyun said, when they were watching the clouds on the hill a few dates after their first one, that he wanted to become a photographer so he could document everything, see them all in color once he can.

“I honestly thought I’ll never find you,” Minho didn’t see the way Taehyun smiled at him because he was too busy pointing at a cloud that looks like a strawberry.  “It wasn’t like I actually was looking anyway.” Taehyun added, his back resting on the trunk of one of the large trees on the area when Minho returned his attention to him.

“I just remembered seeing red-gold for the first time,” Minho said as he laid his head on Taehyun’s lap. “And the most beautiful man as well.”

Taehyun enjoyed the compliment but swatted Minho’s arm nonetheless. “God I swear you always make me blush.”

“Want me to make you blush more?”

Taehyun tried to protest half-heartedly, only to be shushed by a pair of lips claiming his and all his supposed oppositions were gone.

 

*

The first time Minho introduced Taehyun to his friends, Taehyun was everything but calm.

“What if they don’t like me?”

“They will and even if they don’t, hell do I care about what they think? I like you. That’s all that matters.”

Minho said that with firm affirmation and Taehyun smiled broadly at him. So they walked, hand-in-hand, towards the restaurant were the others were already waiting for them.

“You said they’re only three.” Taehyun whispered when he saw the people Minho were waving at.

Minho nodded, “They’re three! Three groups!”

“I was tricked,” Taehyun murmured still but he had no choice but to close the distance between the restaurant’s entrance and the three big tables at the very back end as Minho dragged him.

“Is this Taehyun-ah?” One of them asked and everybody turned their attention to him. Taehyun forced a smile, still too fidgety about the whole situation.

“Uhm, hi.” He managed, raising one sweaty palm to do a little sway.

“He’s so shy, adorable! Oh my god Minho you lucky bastard!”

“Aish!” Minho countered, trying to make his friends behave like their age.

As the night deepened, Minho was relieved to see Taehyun already comfortable talking to everybody else. Most of the time the circle’s conversation was about what seeing colors was like and the ones who had found their soul mates answered. Minho was always envious of the ones who described colors so beautifully, and often he would just laugh it off when they tease him about how jealous he acted.

But tonight, they were the newest members of that party and Minho’s jaw was almost aching as he proudly held Taehyun’s shoulder.

“But what happens if you choose to part ways? Not to be negative but things aren’t permanent.”

It was a fact that most of those who found their soulmates ended up married, bind by a vow of eternal companionship. But some, unfortunate ones, end up finding theirs, only to be separated by the reality that they are soulmates, but they are not fit to be together.

“You still see color.” One of them replied. One who had the sad fate of meeting her soulmate but ended up not being with him. “It was like unlocking a door, and that door will forever be open. Even if you lost the key.”

Minho side-glanced Taehyun as he started to think about the possibility of them breaking up. It wasn’t a nice thought, but he convinced himself that he was just being a realist.

The idea that Taehyun was only with him because the younger was afraid of losing all the colors did cross his mind. But Minho was too busy being in love that he paid it no attention.

But to be honest, they will never even know each other if it wasn’t for the colors, right?

Should Minho be happy that the colors chose them to meet?

Or sad that they don’t guarantee the forever they promised each other?

With his chest constricted in an uncanny sensation, Minho reached for Taehyun’s hand under the table and squeezed it, earning a raised brow from the other. “Any problem?”

Minho shook his head immediately and rested his forehead on Taehyun’s shoulder. “I’m just a bit tired.”

Taehyun gave him a soft smile and leaned closer. “Then rest.”

Minho returned the smile. But as he closed his eyes, his head started to pound.  

He was thinking that in case Taehyun gets tired of him, the younger could just leave, with all the colors they discovered together.

 

*

The first time they made love, neither of them know what to do.

“I researched everything I can.” Minho told Taehyun, setting him down on the bed gently. “So will you let me take care of you?”

It wasn’t really a question, because Minho didn’t wait for any answer and started kissing Taehyun instead. Minho’s lips were chapped and he fumbled with it. Like it was their first time to kiss, but Taehyun was too nervous to notice.

It was unusual as well, because they did it in a Saturday afternoon, when the sun was still hot outside and their curtains were drawn up, unafraid of anyone that may see them. At first Taehyun kept on glancing at the open window on his right, clumsily pulling Minho over him to hide himself every now and then. But as Minho’s kisses turned hungrier and greedier, Taehyun slowly forgot about the window and started to give himself to Minho’s passion.

When they were finally one, Minho kept on asking if it hurt, and Taehyun, at the very beginning, yelped in pain. At one point Minho tried to persuade him that they should stop for now, but Taehyun, with tears running down the sides of his face, pleaded no.

“It’s you,” He panted, pulling Minho down as he nuzzled his neck. “It’s okay if it’s you.”

And Minho grunted, his hips moving so slowly but still going, waiting for any remark from Taehyun. But Taehyun only hugged him closer. As the pain subsided he started to moan and Minho started to pick up speed.

When they finished, collapsed on Minho’s bed, Taehyun asked : “What color do you like the most?”

Minho, with a satisfied smirk plastered on his face, patted his outstretched arm and Taehyun rested his head on it. “You first.”

“Purple.”

“Like the sky at dawn?”

“Or the flowers you gave me last week.”

Taehyun could feel the wave in Minho’s chest as he chuckled. “Mine’s brown.”

“Brown?” Taehyun asked, his head shooting up to look at Minho. “Why brown?”

“Because it’s the color of your eyes.”

 

They stayed in bed for the rest of the afternoon and Minho only got up when he heard Taehyun’s stomach complaining.

“What do you want for dinner?”

Taehyun was sprawled on the bed, wearing Minho’s shirt that was larger than him. “I don’t really know, what do _you_ want?”

Minho gave him a once over and Taehyun grinned back. “You.”

“Buy me beef,” Taehyun said then, shamelessly rolling his shirt up so Minho could see his navel. “Buy me beef and you’ll have this.”

Minho laughed bashfully, and Taehyun burst out laughing. “That’s a cheap exchange but I’m not complaining.”

Minho went to the nearest convenience store in the area while Taehyun tried to walk to the kitchen for some water only to realize that he couldn’t. He swore to himself that he would try to learn more about these things if he wanted to walk normally the next time.

He was glad that Minho wasn’t there to see him furiously blushing as he thought of _next time._

Although Minho bought and cooked beef for dinner, he didn’t ask Taehyun for another round and Taehyun, although relieved, was disappointed.

“I’m thinking of you,” Minho explained, covering Taehyun’s shoulder with the blanket. “You still have work tomorrow and I wouldn’t want you to walk weirdly.”

Taehyun slapped his chest then and Minho pretended to be hurt. “Whose fault was it? I just said it was okay but you got carried away.”

“It just felt too good you know.”

Taehyun hid his face on Minho’s side, murmuring an agreement that even if it hurt in the beginning, it gradually became good, and Minho kissed his forehead.

When his cellphone alarm clock woke him up the next morning, Taehyun was relieved that he could actually walk and get dressed for his schedule. It had been a few months since he started to stash some of his things in Minho’s drawer whenever he came over for overnights. But then it slowly filled up so Minho bought him a cabinet of his own.

Taehyun was checking himself in the mirror when his eyes casually glanced over the still sleeping Minho on the bed. It was almost eight, and he had to go. Taehyun considered leaving a note but he was never fond of that kind of goodbye so he went over to Minho and blew soft breaths on his face.

“Hey stupid, it’s already eight. Wake up.”

Minho started to open his eyes and although his eyelids were still heavy, he managed to smile at Taehyun. “Please come back to me right after.”

And Taehyun went back to Minho as soon as his work was done, letting himself be pulled into strong arms waiting for him on the same bed.

 

*

The first time they fought, on a Thursday night right before Minho’s birthday, Taehyun thought it was the end.

Minho was a mess of tears and snot and Taehyun was too.

“Are you tired of me?” He remembered himself saying, and Taehyun waited anxiously for the other to answer.

Minho, with his crumpled suit and tie, refused to look at Taehyun and remained silent.

And that was all it took for Taehyun to smash the cake he bought on the tiled floor of Minho’s apartment and slam the door behind him with such force Taehyun thought it’ll break.

He strode over the sidewalk with his cheeks wet with tears, his vision blurry and his mind scattered.

The colors were swerving around him. Blinding streaks of yellow and blue and red and greens and they were beautiful, but Taehyun was blind to it all.

Because how can he see beauty without Minho by his side?

It was worse because even if it was spring, the night air was still chilly and Taehyun cursed himself for leaving his jacket in Minho’s flat.

He pressed his palms over his closed eyes as he shouted at the empty streets.

_So is this the end?_

 

The next morning, when Taehyun woke up with puffy eyes and dark bags under his eyes, he refused to leave his bed. But he was reminded of his work when one of his co-workers barraged him with messages. So even if Taehyun felt like the world already ended, he had to live the reality that it’s still turning and it won’t stop for heartbreak.

He decided then, as he was lazily washing his face on his bathroom sink, that he’ll pretend last night didn’t happen.

No, erase that, Taehyun had to pretend _Song Minho did not happen._

But of course it will take some time, so for now Taehyun stopped himself from remembering Minho’s smile and deep voice. He tried to bury the constant echoes of _I love yous_ and _Forevers_ and _Always._

But by the time he was to step outside his door, his heart was breaking all over again.

“Can I go to work like this?” He thought, but unlocked the door nonetheless.

Only to realize that a slumped figure was sleeping right next to it.

He was wearing the same suit and slacks with disheveled hair and a pale face.

_“Minho?”_

A part of Taehyun wants to just walk away and pretend he didn’t see him. But a bigger part, that part that screams how much he loves Minho, led him to crouch down, look at the man in front of him, and wake him up with: “Hey stupid, it’s already eight. Wake up.”

Before, Minho would flash him a toothless smile with his eyes still closed. But this time, Minho immediately opened his eyes and Taehyun winced at how red they were. Minho didn’t say anything, he just pulled Taehyun to him and he was sobbing again, on that porch, with people passing by. “Please don’t leave me.”

He said that in between sobs, and Taehyun’s heart sank at the thought of Minho thinking he was about to leave him. Taehyun patted Minho’s back and hugged him back. “Never.”

 

The first time they made up, neither of them went to work and instead ended up entangled in Taehyun’s bedsheets – panting, gazing into each other’s eyes and reaffirming their love. This, after so many nights of being together, was easier than the rest but also the most magical. Taehyun almost choked at how he tried to describe it but it was, as he felt, magical. He had never felt so cared for, like he was glass ready to break anytime, as Minho hovered over him and planted light kisses all over his body.

The first time they made up, Taehyun promised he’ll try his best to make this work.

Because he can’t imagine Minho anywhere else but by his side.

 

 

 

 

 **A/N:** And we are almost done. :) The next chapter will be the last. I hope you enjoyed this one even with all the stuffs that are happening. :)

_*definition from UrbanDictionary_


	3. Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks to AlwaysWrong and for the others who waited patiently for this last part. TTTT

 

 

 

 

  
Taehyun woke up to an empty bed and a hushed conversation just outside the bedroom. He slowly rubbed the sleep off of his eyes, stood up and walked over to the kitchenette, keenly watching as Minho whispered words to his mobile.

 _Why is he whispering?_ Thought Taehyun, eyes narrowed in suspicion.

Taehyun cocked his eyebrow at the sight then. He had been sleeping over Minho’s quite a lot these past weeks and the times he caught Minho murmuring to his phone as he called someone had been frequent. 

Taehyun cleared his throat and successfully earned his lover’s attention. 

Minho smiled nervously at him and ended the call without even saying anything more to the other person on the other line. He strode to where Taehyun was, rested his palms on the younger’s waist and kissed him on the top of his head. “Good morning.”

Taehyun glared at him, perturbed at how sudden Minho ended the call like he was hiding something. “Who was that?”

Minho bit the bottom of his lip but smiled right after. “A client. Work, the usual.” And then he gently pushed Taehyun to the little isle counter and presented him some pancakes before the other could question more.

Taehyun tried to smile, thanking Minho for the early surprise. 

But he didn’t have any stomach to eat.

 

Not when his heart clenches at the thought that maybe –

  
Maybe Minho’s having an affair.

 

But that can’t be… right?

 

 

**Jamais Vu  
**

**(Never Seen)  
**

_“Nothing is ever familiar.”_

 

 

_**2:** _

 

 

 

Minho had been taking his calls outside the house. Whenever his phone rings, he’ll immediately stand up and walk away from Taehyun. He explains it’s work but, why is work calling him outside office hours way too often?

On Monday morning, as Taehyun was preparing for his usual routine and was on his way to another photoshoot, he found himself glancing at Minho’s phone lying on the coffee table as it suddenly lighted up with a notification. Taehyun took a deep breath and looked around, heard Minho still in the shower. He convinced himself that what he was about to do was not okay, reasoning that he should trust Minho instead. But then he remembers the horrible feeling he gets whenever Minho takes those call – and he can’t deny that a part of him is starting to question Minho and his actions.

Taehyun doesn’t want to doubt Minho any longer.

So with an exasperated sigh and swift movements, he started reading through Minho’s messages.

Nothing seems to be out of the ordinary until his eyes froze on one sender named _“Karen”_ who had called and exchanged texts with Minho the most these past days. Taehyun can feel his chest tightening and he thought of stopping at that point but he decided to at least read some of their conversations.

 

 _From: Karen_ **  
You sure you don’t want to tell him yet? I think it’s better the earlier he knows about this.**

_To: Karen_ **  
Not yet… I don’t know how to tell him yet.**

_From: Karen_ **  
It’s going to be hard. But everything is already done and ready.**

_To: Karen_ **  
Give me more time.**

_From: Karen_ **  
I’ll leave soon.**

_To: Karen_ **  
I know. I don’t want you to leave.**

_From: Karen_ **  
You better end that with him then, at least before I leave, for the both of you to start on a new path.**

_To: Karen_ **  
I know. Can’t wait.**

 

_What the hell does this means?_

  
Taehyun spent the next few minutes staring at the screen, the conversation mocking him with every line.

_I think it’s better the earlier he knows about this._

_Not yet… I don’t know how to tell him._

_Give me more time._

_I don’t want you to leave._

_You better end that with him then… start on a new path._

_I know. Can’t wait._

 

  
So Minho was actually two timing him? Actually can’t wait to be over their relationship? 

Did he do anything wrong? Everything seemed to be going just fine before those conceited calls started…

Was Minho actually just tired of him already? 

Taehyun felt the ridges of his eyes starting to water, his vision blurry until he heard the water stopped running and he carefully placed the phone back on top of the table, pretended to do something on his own phone instead.

Minho emerged from the bathroom, steam rising from behind him as he rubbed his hair off of water. 

“I think I’ll be out late tonight.” Taehyun tried his best to sound okay, but failed to maintain eye contact. He couldn’t lash out at Minho at this very moment. He needed to sort his thoughts first.

Minho crossed in front of him and reached inside the drawers. “No worries, I will be out late too.”

 _No worries._ Taehyun repeated inside his head 

Who wouldn’t worry with what he just read?

 

 

*  
“Are you sure?”

Taehyun took a sip of his earl grey tea with a creased forehead. The slice of cake he ordered remained untouched, he still has no appetite for anything but a strong, tasteless kind of tea. “I don’t know for sure but what do you expect me to think of it as?” He leaned back on the wooden chair, subconsciously fiddling with the fringe of his hair right after. “ _’I don’t know how to tell him yet.’ ‘Give me more time._ ’” Taehyun repeated with a disoriented frown. “What the hell should I think about all of that?”

Jinwoo had been nibbling on the straw of his frappe ever since Taehyun had started his story. The now red-haired guy hadn’t even put his drink down even once. “I don’t really know what to tell you but – you still get to keep the colors with you even if you break things off with Minho anyway.”

_Break things off with Minho._

Taehyun looked up and saw Jinwoo staring outside this time. “It helped you a lot with your works, and you can see every color now anyway. Letting go now may be hard but you still have the colors, at the very least it’s something.” Taehyun followed Jinwoo’s s gaze and realized he was looking at the shining moon outside the café windows.  “I always wondered if the moon and stars were actually white.”

 

_What color are the stars?_

_White? I think they are._

 

Taehyun doesn’t have anything to say so he didn’t. His heart was still heavy and there was a painful tug at his chest.

Jinwoo noticed this and finally put down the frappe on the table between them to get Taehyun’s attention. “You can always come back to the boarding house, anytime. You know that.”

 

 

That night, Taehyun did not go back to Minho’s place and instead cried his heart out until sleep cradled him. He was on his bed, but it doesn’t feel familiar anymore. It doesn’t smell of Minho’s musk, it doesn’t feel of Minho’s warmth.

Taehyun frowned even more, even if he was away from Minho, his thoughts are still around him.

He received a text from his roommate sometime later. 

 

 _From: Kim Jinwoo  
_ **If you plan to kill yourself, do it outside the house, I don’t want to come back to a rotting body. Thanks!**

 

_From: Kim Jinwoo_

**I was kidding. No suicide pleasee. D:**

 

Taehyun finally cracked a small smile.

He asked Jinwoo to sleep over Seunghoon’s for the time being and Jinwoo was more than willing to comply (not to mention how the older enjoyed seeing his boyfriend smiling shyly at Taehyun when he waved them goodbye). At least things seem to be going well with those two. 

It was stupid that he was jumping to conclusions, and he tried to tell himself that he was being unreasonable. Taehyun knew he was being uncharacteristic but what character should he play anyway in this kind of situations?

Whatever he made himself think, the pain doesn’t go away anyway.

 

He waited for Minho’s texts until one in the morning, but Minho didn’t ask for him until three am. 

Who goes home that late anyway?

Maybe Minho had been pulling overtimes for that project.

Or maybe he was with Karen…

Taehyun cursed himself but still thought of what he would do if ever his hunch was true.

Would he let go of Minho? 

 

He pulled himself up and reached for his cabinet, taking out a little box inside where the gold bracelet was wrapped around with a purple satin cloth. Taehyun took it out and studied it against the moon beams, watching, as the lights shimmer against the metal. 

The first time Minho saw him, he told Taehyun he caught a glimpse of gold.

Taehyun clutched the bracelet against his chest.

He doesn’t want to let Minho go.

But if what they have will only keep on hurting him…

Is this relationship worth it?

  
Taehyun slapped his forehead and tried to sleep.

 

 

*  
Taehyun chose it better if he took a break from everything first and decided to not go back to Minho’s for the time being. Thinking things over didn’t exactly help as he was always distracted during photoshoots and Minho not contacting him much made it worse. 

Unlike what he was used to, Minho only sent him messages of good mornings and good nights, sometimes not even a good night. Taehyun figured it must be because the other was too busy with his company projects. 

Or too busy planning on how to break up with him.

Taehyun sighed again as he waited for the models to finish their touch-ups.

“You don’t seem well,” The director called out to him and Taehyun immediately apologized. “I’m not saying your pictures didn’t turn out great this past shoots but I know you could do much better.”

“I’ll try harder sir.”

The old man smiled kindly at Taehyun. “When I look back to your black and white pictures and compare them to the ones you recently shot, it’s the first time I thought that the less colors are more beautiful.” He then patted Taehyun on the shoulder. “Only few of us meet our soulmates, even fewer gets to stay together. But for me, I was lucky to be with her and appreciate every color. You’ll realize… in time, that sometimes, the ones in between are more important, because they let you appreciate the ones with colors more.”

Taehyun turned his face towards his camera to hide his face. “There’s no light without darkness.” He answered.

“Yes.” The director started to walk away. “No matter what your decision may be, the colors will stay with you. But will you see them in the same light after?”

Taehyun stared at the back of the director with bewilderment.

 

_Will you see them in the same light after?_

 

Taehyun plastered a fake smile as he greeted the models and continued the shoot.

 

 

*  
Jinwoo was working late so Taehyun still has the house all to himself. He was thinking too much again, he was sure Minho will take an action sooner. He even thought if it’ll be easier to just be the one to break things off so Minho doesn’t have to bother but he never had the courage to. Taehyun thought it was better if he’ll just wait for Minho to up and tell him it was all over. That it had been fun but that he had found someone better. That it was nice sharing the sight of the colors but they were never meant to be together anyway. 

Taehyun winced at the evident pain it caused him and he accidentally sprinkled more salt on the pesto he was making. 

If Minho did say that, Taehyun planned to tell him he understands, planned to assure Minho that he’ll just be fine. 

But there were a lot of things that were easier said than done. The only problem Taehyun was afraid of was the fact that he might just break down crying when that time comes. 

 

He heard the doorbell rang for a few times and Taehyun shouts for Jinwoo, that he was just in time because the pesto was done. But when Taehyun opened the door, what greeted him wasn’t his cute red-head roommate but the root of his dilemma. Minho was standing there, in his usual black coat, long-sleeves and slacks, indicating that he had just came back from work, hands in his pockets with a sad smile planted on his face. 

“Hey…” Taehyun gripped the doorknob harder. It had come sooner than he expected. He still hasn’t prepared himself for this.

“Hey,” Minho returned, a mist of cold air trailing his breath. “How are you?”

“I’m…” _Agitated. Furious. Sad. So not okay._ “Fine. You?”

Minho smirked somehow, but there was still something awkward in the atmosphere between them. “Not as fine since you’d been MIA for the past week.”

“I’ve been busy,” Taehyun lied, suddenly nervous of what to come. “Thinking of things you know?”

“Things like what?” 

_Like what I should do right now._

It was cold outside, and Taehyun was only wearing a thin shirt. “Like…” He cleared his throat again, unsure of what to tell Minho. “Do you want to come in?” He finally asked, feeling the air gnawing at his skin further.

Minho shook his head and instead told him: “Do you have some time? I really need to talk to you.”

Taehyun gulped an invisible lump inside his throat. That thumping inside his chest is now a head-wrecking hammering. “…Okay.”

 

 

Minho was driving his car a little too rigidly, and Taehyun could easily feel that Minho was nervous too. It looked like this supposed breaking up wasn’t any easier for Minho, but Taehyun still tried to prepare himself for the worse.  He doesn’t really know what Minho was planning but he knew that after tonight, he had to pick himself up and gather all of their memories and start letting them go. 

Taehyun hated the fact that he was actually thinking of how lucky Karen was and that he hoped she’ll take good care of Minho.

 

 

At a familiar block, just before the city center, Minho stopped the car and opened the passenger door for Taehyun. Minho immediately took Taehyun’s hand and led them to a park with a grand view of the lake. Taehyun didn’t think much of the action, thinking it would be the last anyway, and said nothing about them holding hands. Minho eventually halted and let go of Taehyun’s hand as he took a few steps closer to the lakeside. They were meters apart and Minho was suddenly very quiet. But then he turned around, and shouted: 

“Nam Taehyun!”

Taehyun’s eyes widen. They weren’t the only ones in the park and Minho could’ve just easily talked to him in a closer distance. What was the point of shouting? Taehyun was about to run over to Minho to make him stop the commotion but Minho only warned him to stay where he was. 

“It’s been a year now since I first saw you by that sidewalk. Since the first time I saw all these wonderful colors.”

“Minho what are you doing –” They were definitely getting the attention of the passers-by, some even openly gawking at them. By the corner of Taehyun’s eyes he could see some girls with their phones arched to their direction. 

“Every day was magic. Every single moment with you was a miracle I never knew I needed.”  
Taehyun’s too preoccupied with what Minho was saying now that he just stood there, stunned. _What is Minho talking about? He’s suppose to break up with me!_

Minho was smiling, despite the redness of the tip of his nose and the water in his eyes from the night air. “Nam Taehyun! I can’t live without you!”

Minho fell on one knee and held his arms up in midair. “Please marry me!”

Taehyun felt as if he was washed over by cold water. “What?”

Minho started running back to Taehyun, hugging him the tightest he can, whispering: “Please don’t turn me down, we have an audience.”

Taehyun knew he was joking, and that Minho was still nervous because his arms were still fidgeting. He found himself hugging Minho back, deaf to all the giggles and cheers from the onlookers around them. “But I thought Karen – ”

Minho pulled back, an eyebrow up. “Karen? You – ”

“Looked into your phone. I’m sorry I thought – well you have these suspicious calls and you were being all discrete about it.”

Minho looked confused for a moment before his eyes finally lit up and he let out a chuckle, “Oh you mean  _that_ Karen.” He smiled, pecked Taehyun on the lips and said: “I’ll show you what those messages were about.”

 

 

*  
“This…” Minho escorted Taehyun inside one of the buildings in the area, through the elevator and finally, in front of a certain door. “…Is what I asked Karen to help me with.” He then opened the room and let Taehyun stepped in first, closing the door behind them.

Taehyun walked straight towards the high windows, admiring the city lights reflected in the lake below. They were only on the third floor and Taehyun liked how he could hear the muffled music in a nearby café. 

Minho’s arms snaked around his waist and Taehyun realized just how much he missed Minho’s chest pressing against him, how his palms rested on his tummy and hips, while his nose nuzzles the back of his neck. 

"Were you jealous?"

There was no point in denying the obvious. "Yes."

Minho chuckled in approvement.

They stayed quiet for a moment then Minho asked again: “Did you like it?”

They were in a condominium, with enough room for two. Taehyun had a brief glimpse of the kitchenette and a free space just beside the living room. 

“You can make that free space your personal studio.” Minho continued, smiling against Taehyun’s neck. “I was supposed to only ask you to move in with me but Karen – ”

Taehyun looked over his shoulder when he heard the name.

“She’s a realtor okay. And a friend of mine, like an older sister. And she already has two kids. Happily married. She’s about to return to Canada that’s why she’s hurrying me up.”

 

  
_Not yet… I don’t know how to tell him._

_Give me more time._

_You better end that with him then, start on a new path._

 

“Then that _new path_ …”

“She convinced me to propose to you… sooner than I had planned to.” Minho was hiding his face by burying it in Taehyun’s back but Taehyun could still see his ears reddening. “I thought… like you move in with me… then about a month or so, I’ll ask you to meet with my family, and I meet yours… you know… ask them first if I can take you as my husband…”

Taehyun could feel his own face heating up. “I didn’t… uhm… expect you to be so… traditional.”

Minho finally looked up to meet Taehyun’s gaze. “I am serious about marrying you. I’ve thought of it the first time you smiled at me in the café.”

It was now Taehyun’s turn to hide his hot face. It was not only because of how mushy Minho was sounding like but the fact that he, himself, was too jealous to even consider what Minho was really up to. _Great,_ Taehyun thought as he mentally slapped himself, _getting jealous over nothing._

It was all sudden. But he wasn’t complaining. He came here expecting to be dumped but he ended up getting proposed to. 

It was surreal.

Taehyun glanced around them and saw the random strokes of yellows and blues and oranges and greens and everything else.

Surreal – like the colors dancing in the atmosphere between them right now. 

“So…” Minho cleared his throat as he loosened his embrace on Taehyun. “Are you – uh, willing to marry me?”

Taehyun snickered, noticed how the black behind every color only made each stand out. He then turned his whole body towards Minho. “Not until I have the ring.”

Minho cursed loudly but they both ended up laughing. 

Taehyun thought the most beautiful thing he could see in this world was the colors splashed everywhere. 

He never knew that the most beautiful would be a man named Song Minho, who showed him not only these different streaks of lights and shadows, but also how each of them feels like. 

The colors meant nothing without Minho by his side.

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh dear lawd it’s already done… are you still there waiting for this? I’m so sorry for keeping this locked away, I have no reasonable excuses!
> 
> Also, as I have announced in my IG, I am trying to finish all the chaptered fics I have since I might end up on hiatus for about half a year or so because I need to prepare for the board exams next year. (Adulting is hard I know.) But I doubt if I’ll finish MADMAN. I have an option to cut it short though but it seems to be a waste if I do that… so… help me decide? :D
> 
> Oh and on a side note, why do you think Th posted a throwback pic of him blond?? (I’m just curious, honest! XD)
> 
> Thank you for reading and I am a sucker for comments (especially long ass ones, feel free to rant to me hahaha)
> 
> Now I am working on a fic entitled “I am SO NOT into YOU!” it’s not really new since it’s a fic with five chaps I’ve written when I was still in first year high school (which is like 12 or 13 yo, yikes, 7 years ago!) and I’m kinda still redrafting it so we’ll see if it’ll end up online or in the recycle bin like most of my fics are these days *sigh*
> 
>  
> 
> Let’s see where this’ll take us! Thank you for reading! :3

**Author's Note:**

> *A/N: This is an AU that I read somewhere from a Tumblr post before, where one is born seeing black and white only but when they meet their soulmate they start to see color and once they die it all turns back to black and white. If somehow another fanfic was inspired by that same post, hi! And this will just be a short series fic. Let's keep NamSong sailing! :D


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